Nature; the most beautiful and serene is often the most ruthless and destructive
ughuhgufh you know that feeling where you want someone SO BAD like not even in a sexual way like you just want to touch their skin and hug them and feel their warmth and smell their scent and feel how soft their hair is and look into their eyes and hear their voice and soak in their presence like it’s physically impossible to have them by your side but you need it so bad like you just want them to be yours you want them physically there for you
And I still can’t sleep…
I sabotage everything good, I need too keep my mouth shut I guess. I’m not sure whether they run away or I push them away. Fuck
I don’t need long, I just need things to stop so I can process everything. Life is so full on right now.
Third person in less than a year I have saved from accidental or suicide attempts. There comes a point when you just have to separate your life from everything else that’s going on.
How come this happens to me though? I have to think, I can’t shut off my bran. I know it’s not my fault. How come none of the people acknowledge this fact though. Jaymi cut me put of her life as soon as she got out of hospital after her suicide attempt, know sorry, or even a thank you because her daughter would have grown up without a mum if i wasn’t around then. My mate never really thanked me or acknowledged that I was the one to save him when he od’d on heroin and now well who knows I guess time will tell if you see this the same way everyone else does.
I can only take so much especially if you won’t even listen to me when I need to talk about things.I don’t know how I am keeping my shit together right now but somehow I am and I feel a lot stronger as a person for it.